Ignoring 101

I was with my mom in a clothing store and the most disturbing thing happened. A child who was probably in elementary school, ran around the store and shouted the four letter f-bomb for about 30 minutes.

Now anyone who knows me knows that I believe in discipline. Whether more corrective actions or a nice little rod to not spoil the child, I believe in discipline. However in some circumstances you have to assess what's happening before you react.

There was a lady standing far off in the distance. I later learned that was his mom.

I have the sweetest mom in the world. She has some city in her but mostly down south, country love. She is a very motherly lady who loves everyone. She smiles and gives great hugs. She is very encouraging and talks to you when you need advice. Well she was with me in the store and she cannot tolerate disrespectful children. With all of those wonderful compliments I dressed her with, she never spared the rod So you can only imagine what she was dealing with in that store.

I was pretty fascinated at the fact that the little boy was using this language. I was much more fascinated with the mother. She just ignored the stabbing words exiting his mouth. She had no reaction even though everyone around him was telling him to stop. Some people gave him a fist. One lady even laughed to imply it was kind of “cute”. I was very confused with the reaction of the mom. The little boy got louder and louder until it began to grab the attention of the entire store. The mom continued to pull the clothes across the rack like she was the only person in the store. Eventually a lady walked over to her to ask her if that was her son. She looked at the lady and motioned yes and continued to shop.

Now prior to this moment I was trying to give this mom the benefit of the doubt. I said to myself, “She can't hear and is unaware her son is using this language”. Then I said, “Maybe she doesn't speak the English language.” These were actual thoughts running through our mind.

My mom walked over and said, nope she knows exactly what he is doing, and she is just ignoring him. I thought to myself my mom is wrong, she can’t be aware the way she is carelessly shopping. Once I saw her answer the lady, my theory vanished. She knew he was doing. I still tried to give her a pass and I said, “She probably still doesn’t know English”. She seemed to have very limited responses to the people around her. Another lady walked up to her and began talking. She barely responded that time. So the lady began speaking in another language to her. She started answering in the same language. I regained confidence in my excuses for her. She doesn’t know English! All while this is going on the little boy is still spewing out profanities. All of a sudden she screams out, I’m sick of it, SHUT UP to the child. She then goes over and talks to what seems to be a family member in perfect English. There was my other theory, crushed. Eventually she grabbed her things, bought them real fast, grabbed her child abruptly and left.

This brought out such a revelation to me. The child’s behavior was unacceptable, but the mom’s reaction showed me something.

We are experts at IGNORING. We will be connected to things that are disruptive, profane and offensive. Yet we will never admit it and continue to shop. Instead of taking the hard road and dealing with the obvious, we shut away. We shut our eyes, ears and senses to the things that everyone else around us can see and hear so clearly. The reality is the things that we refuse to deal with are the offspring of issues we refuse to discipline. Everyone has a THING. Something that we don’t want to deal with. Even though its difficult, you have authority over it and can easily discipline it. It’s easier to act like it’s not there. Well guess what, it's there and its loud and clear. Those things only control your space because you let them. That little boy challenged his mother’s shopping day, because she let him. Control your space. Don’t let anything speak louder than God. If it does, control it and discipline it.

I am very much aware that this child as well as the mother, could have had a developmental delay. This blog is not intended to shed any negative light on any individuals with disabilities.