• Angel Hearst

Damaged Relationships

The holidays are different for me now. Instead of people coming home to see me, now I am the one coming home. I uprooted from all things familiar and moved to a new land. So coming home is also coming back. I am coming back to familiar places, things and people. That can be exciting yet a little awkward depending upon how it was left. I saw someone recently that brought up all kind of emotions when my eyes rested on them. Everything raced through my head to tell them my true feelings, disappointments and deserved reads. Its a different kind of hurt when its revealed to you that someone pretended a relationship for the sake of their own malice intentions. It never seems fair when you are vulnerable but the other party is not as vulnerable. You feel like you gave a piece of yourself away for free. Don't even think of tallying time. Not only did you waste energy but time. In those short three seconds of assessing what reaction I should give. I gave a smile. That revealed a lot. Some hurts are bad and honestly not irreparable. Some people are so damaged they are only good at burning bridges. Some relationships you just won't get back. Yet, peace can replace that relationship. Don't hold on to the hurt of a damaged relationship. Don't stay stuck at that burned bridge. Move forward and take your emotions with you. The realness of the matter is that some people have to go through a few things before they can see who is really genuine in their lives. If you are the one that burns the bridges, there is peace for you too. Lighting matches of betrayal and gassing them with your words is the ultimate cop out. Fight and flight is the worst way to handle people. This cycle will have you skeptical of people and never truly being vulnerable. Vulnerability is the most precious gift of relationship. It eliminates all pretense. Its the scale that you and the other person are on the same page. It also gauges your willingness to grow. A true relationship allows you to be open to all parts of that connection. Not only is there good times, events and happiness. Sometimes you need to be open to correction, a harsh word or someone being honest with you. My closest relationships in life are built on a foundation of honesty. The closest in my circle have all access to holding me accountable even if it hurts. If you run every time something is not spelled out or favorable to you or you get offended about it easily, you are probably the bridge burner. If every year you have a new circle, you are that person. If every year you are exiling people out of your life, you are probably that person. If you find yourself getting mad at the same people who love you the same time every year, you're that person. Try something different. Instead of fight and flight, fight and stay. Embrace the discomfort of growth and iron sharpening. You'll gain lasting relationships that won't be risked by the fatality of fakeness.

I hope everyone who reads this embraces and appreciates the real relationships in your life. Don't take anyone for granted. Forgive others their trespasses, so that you are worthy of being forgiven.

-with love

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